So 'Memoirs Of A Geisha' ended up being pretty bad towards the end. Just a lame romance novel. I'm cleansing my palette now with Toni Morrisson's 'Jazz,' which is just great. She's one of the most ecstatically imaginative writers I've ever had the pleasure to read. Reading her words is kind of like drowning, in a good way.

I made a few nicks and cuts to 'Still,' and I think I'm about ready to lock the picture. Now I just have to do that little bit of ADR and Foley, which we had scheduled to do on Thursday. But unfortunately, on Wednesday, I was driving out to the first pre-production meeting for these new scripts of mine, and suddenly my car decided to throw the first kink my way and die right there in the middle of rush hour traffic. Perhaps it is a sign that these movies were not meant to be...I don't think so, though. I don't believe in fate anyway. Or maybe I do, but that's another story.

Anyway, I wasn't able to make it to the ADR sessions, so I canceled them. My car is fixed now, so it shouldn't be too long. Then I just have to get the score and voila, I'll be done. Well, then I have to get the negative conformed and prints made and all the sound put on an optical track and shit like that, but that's all for when I have more money. I'll be applying, as per usual, for the Texas Filmmaker's Production Fund this year. This time, I'll make sure I put all the materials in the envelope.

I'm about twenty something pages into 'Tall Blue Girl.' Should be done by the end of May. Man, I really hope I can get these projects off the ground. If not, maybe I'll have to break down and go to college. I so do not want to do that.

April 21, 2002

We're having the crew screening tonight. Hopefully everyone will be surprised and overjoyed...the few people that have seen it so far really like it.

I watched 'Sunset Boulevard' last weekend for the first time; what a great movie. I love it when I see a movie that is so good that it makes me mad I hadn't seen it already. Speaking of movies that make people mad, there's a new review of 'The Tunnel' at File Thirteen that cracked me up. I'll always love that site because they gave such a good review to 'Lullaby;' being compared to Kat Candler's 'Cicadas' is about the best compliment I could ask for. Speaking of Kat, I'm really looking forward to seeing her new short film at the Dallas Video Festival this year. I've only met her once, but through our periodic e-mail correspondence over the last few years I feel some sort of DV-filmmaker kinship with her. Although we both agree that DV is for the birds and it's time to move on to 35mm.

Speaking of which, I'm about to get started on the first steps of producing 'Untitled' and 'Tall Blue Girl' (although the script isn't done with). I made a few slight revisions to 'Untitled' the other day and at the screening tonight I'll be giving copies to Christine, who will be producing these projects with me, and to Yen, whose advice and feedback is invaluable.

The actors I want for 'Untitled' are Adrien Brody (or Henry Thomas or Jeremy Davies) and Will Ferrell. The actors I want for 'Tall Blue Girl' are Nick Cave and April Grace. I'll be contacting their agents soon...I hope. Whenever I have the scripts at the stage where I want to send them out. Hopefully they'll all be at least somewhat indie friendly and won't say no flat out...

I'm currently rendering the copy of the film that I'm showing tonight...I have to render a little black bar to cover up the keycode in the letterbox area. It's taking a long time...I think I'll take a nap.

...zzzz...

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. James and I went to the KRS-One show the other night and I just have to say that it was the coolest damn concert I've ever seen. Just electrifying. Blackalicious opened and they were incredible too, and the cameo by Erykah Badu was great, but KRS-One completely blew everyone away. The real hip hop is over here, indeed.

April 14, 2002

I wasn't lying when I said I was really happy with the cut of 'Still.' The first cut is pretty much the last cut. I've done a bit of fine tuning since then, and maybe there will be some good suggestions when I screen it for the crew next week, but I think it's pretty close to being locked. It's exactly like the script...it's really cool to see something come off the page so cleanly. The end is nice and disturbing, too, just like I hoped. The movie may not have any deep meaning or anything, but at least it has a good unsettling conclusion. I think audiences will like it.

I also finished the rewrite of 'Untitled' the other day. It's very different from the original draft, and also a lot better. I have a few things I want to touch up on it, and then it's time to start putting some numbers together for it and shopping it around. The same thing will happen to 'Tall Blue Girl' when I finish that (I'm about to get started on that as soon as I finish writing this, actually). I want to pitch them as a package.

Now that Spike Jonze is potentially attached to 'Memoirs Of A Geisha,' I've been compelled to read the book. So far, it's good. I'm really glad Spielberg didn't do it, though.

I've been redoing my CD collection lately...getting rid of all the crap I accumulated throughout high school and replacing it with some really good music, filling out collections of artists I previously only had one album by (Bjork, Belle and Sebastien, The Pixies, among others). My room is consistenly filled with happenin' tunes now. At least by my tastes.

All right, time to get started on that script. It's gonna be good...

March 30, 2002

I've got 'Do The Right Thing' playing right now...last summer, there was a week where I watched it every single day. I think that's the only film I've ever done that with. Definitely one of the ten best of all time.

I'm working on the rough cut of 'Still' at the moment. So far, so good. I'm not doing any fine tuning at the moment...syncing up the audio and video for each take makes it slightly difficult, so right now I'm just setting up the basic structure of the film. It's definitely watchable, but I'm not doing anything like trimming lines or perfecting transitions yet. So far I'm at the dinner scene, which I think will be the hardest scene to cut (which is why I'm procrastinating and updating this page, rather than editing). It's made up of four shots, with about two useable takes for each of those, and they're all almost three minutes long. It'll take a little while to get it right.

But it looks great so far. It has a really nice propulsory feeling...constantly moving forward. This should be a nice contrast for the last few scenes, where everything comes to a halt. I'm pretty darn happy so far.

In website news, I think I'm going to be switching servers in the near future, so that I have more space to work with. I really want to put up more video and multimedia content. In the meantime, though, I'm working on redesigning the Filmmaking page now. The initial changes are already up....

So I actually didn't start cutting 'Still' until today, because it took me a little bit longer to get the sound transfered to CD. So now I'm busy capturing all the footage and I'll begin editing the first scene as soon as I finish writing this. I'm excited but also wary...I'm beginning to doubt my initial confidence that it will be anything more than a good film. I think it's very good...but great? We'll see.

I'm not depressed yet, though, so that's good. But I feel like I want to avoid people for a while. Sometimes I just want to disappear.

Which I guess is quite selfish of me, but oh well.

I'm so glad Halle Berry won her Oscar. I wish Denzel's performance had been in a better movie, otherwise his win would have made me happy too. The technical awards were all pretty good, but the only thing 'A Beautiful Mind' deserved was Best Score, and that's one of the few that it didn't win. Once again, the Oscars are annoying. But that Woody Allen speech made it all worthwhile.

I'm about halfway done with my script at the moment...I hope I have time to work on it, now that I'm editing 'Still' as well. But I want to have a rough cut of 'Still' done in a week, so maybe I'll just focus on that for now. But the less sleep the better, I always say.

March 17, 2002

I thought I'd stop and ask for a moment of silence to commemorate the one year anniversary of the premiere of 'Lullaby.'

Time flies and it makes me sad.

I just got back from seeing Hedwig and The Angry Inch at the Inwood midnight movie. It's one of my all time favorite movies, it's so perfect. It gets me every time.

For the record, the three scripts I'm currently working on are...

'Untitled,' which I'm writing the second draft of right now. That's actually the title. This post is actually a means of procrastination from working on it...it's minimized at the bottom of my screen right now. I'm on page 22 of a page 1 rewrite. I describe it as 'Barton Fink' meets 'Say Anything.' I really only say that for the weird looks people give me.

'Tall Blue Girl,' which is about 60 pages long so far, and needs to be finished AND slightly restructured. It will be pretty long when it's done. I really love this one. When I get it right, it's going to be beautiful.

'The Rocketship Movie,' which will one day have an actual title, I just haven't thought of one yet. It's not about a rocketship, though. In a post below, I listed two songs, and this is the script they're for.

So that's what I'm working on, aside from finishing 'Still.' They're what I want to direct next.

Good lord, 'Hedwig' is a masterpiece.

I'm watching the 'City Of Angels' commentary track right now. It's one of the only DVD commentary tracks I haven't heard yet. I need some new DVDs. I desperately want some Steven Sodebergh movies; I don't have a single one. I've been re-reading his 'Sex Lies And Videotape' diary for the millionth time, my favorite filmmaking book. It's pretty inspiring.

I can't start cutting 'Still' until I get all the DATS transfered to CD. I'm a little broke right now, but I get paid on Friday, so I should have that done early next week. Then I jsut have to capture all the footage and get cracking...I'm guessing it'll take me about two weeks. But the trailer looks great. Everyone loved it. I used my own special remix of Moby's 'Everloving,' and did my usual favorite trailer method of no dialogue, just images and music. It looks like a real movie, I think.

I slept for fourteen hours the other night. I didn't feel like waking up. But then I made up for it last night when I wrote until 5am on my 'Untitled' rewrite. I wrote six pages, but then my computer crashed and I had to rewrite what I had rewritten. Right now it's almost 2am, and I'm procrastinating...I need to finish this rewrite, so I can start trying to get money to make it. I've got that script and two others that I want to make all right now. I write much better in the wee hours of the morning. So if I could write from 4am to 6am every night, that would be great. I'll just grab sleep whenever I can.

I had dinner with James and Yen the other night and we're going to put together a feature that's basically about communicating with the dead. Real emotional stuff, no script or anything, just four short stories that we'll each work out with actors. A relaxing sort of project for us, all coming off of these really techincally challenging projects. We're thinking about who we should bring on as the fourth director...possibly Nick Prendergast, or maybe Clay Liford. I recently saw Clay's short film, 'Flowers Grown From Powdered Bones.' It was awesome, one of the best short films I've seen in a long time. It was just so exciting to see someone do something so creative with such limited means. Hopefully it will get some attention soon.

Holy crap, I just learned that Michael Mann was in 'City Of Angels.' That's my favorite scene in the movie now.

All right, I'm going to go get down to business. Goodnight, my friends.

March 4, 2002

Well, only about six hours till the telecine now. What shall I do to pass the time?

There's a press screening or two that I think I might drive out to momentarily. Hopefully I'll be able to concentrate on whatever I end up seeing. I'm actually not nervous at all, I'm just impatient. I want to see it NOW. So I guess it's good that I've had to wait and must wait still, because apparently waiting makes the getting that much better. Not that I've ever bought any of that crap, but you know how it goes.

You may remember that movie I was working on called 'The Tunnel,' from director Ramzi Abed. It's played at Tromadance since I last wrote about it and garnered a review or two. The first one is from Film Threat. I enjoyed this review a lot because this is pretty much how I felt the film was turning out when I was editing it. The other one is from Flipside Movies, and this one is a lot more levelheaded and fair, and I have to say I agree with it almost 100% completely. It gives you a pretty good idea of what the movie is like.

In other news of projects my name is stuck on somewhere, you may wish to pay a visit to Table Girl.com, which is the official site of James' movie, 'Mere Acquaintance.' On this site you can find many fabulous things, including but not limited to the trailer for the movie, in which you can see how great the photography (by 'Still' gaffer Jim McMahon) is.

All right, I'm gonna shower and shave and head off to the Angelika for that screening. I'll be back in the News section tonight with an update, of course.

Every spring, for whatever reason, I sink into some sort of despair; like clockwork, it always happens. And this morning I felt the first wave of it wash across me, making my heart ache. I've been so determined to keep it from happening this year...at least this year I have a job and lots of film stuff to keep me busy. But I remember when I was editing 'Lullaby,' I was so down I could barely force myself to edit. I'm going to try my best to beat it this time...but I got scared this morning.

I'm editing James' movie, 'Mere Acquaintance.' The script is awful. Technically, it's amazing, the most beautiful looking DV stuff I've ever seen. I'm going to do my very best to turn it into something good, to do what I can through editing to make it something that he'll be proud to have his name on. I don't think I could ever direct for hire, if I don't have passion for a project I couldn't pull it off.

My original plan was to have the film processed and telecined at Fotokem in LA, but now we may have it done in Dallas after all. Which means it could be done this week at the earliest, or next week at the latest. I'm so exited...I'm on the edge of my seat, I can't wait to see it. I'll edit it so fast...I've been putting the movie together in my head for over a year. I so want it to be good...

I must wake up early...I've a press screening to go to in the morning. At least I can always count on movies to take me away from my feelings...although sometimes they just amplify them.

All right, I'm finally back online, and I have to say I'm extremely dissapointed that the Academy didn't give Hedwig a single nomination, even for best song. But then, I'm always disappointed every year when they announce the stupid nominations.

The production of 'Still' went so well. I'm sad that it's over. It was a magical four days of shooting (although I hope I'm not the only one who holds this sentiment). It was such a professional set, but at the same time I think everyone had an incredible amount of fun. In fact, I know some people did, because they told me that it was the best set they've ever worked on! Once again, the miracle of independent film comes through...a huge group of people working incredible hard for no money, all towards one final artistic vision...and all because they love movies more than anything else.

Anyway, I've realized that I still need a lot of practice directing actors. All the useful info I learned in Judith Weston's fantastic book, 'Directing Actors,' went right out the window once I got to the set. I gave directions like, "When you say your line, say it with feeling, and yet blankly because you aren't sure about the you know what I mean, right?" Luckily, I had a group of really great actors and actresses who managed to translate my incoherent ideas into playable directions.

But what's the point of doing it at all if you don't plan on getting better? Besides spending money? And boy, have I spent some money. Robert Rodriguez would be shaking his head if he told me how much I've spent so far on a thirty minute short film.

I finally saw 'Monster's Ball' a few weeks ago. My top ten list has been revised.

So in actuality, the film cost 1400 dollars flat when tax was figured in. Not too bad (I say to encourage myself).

At the new Magnolia theater in Dallas, they've been playing Kieslowski's Decalogue films (a ten hour series loosely based on the ten commandments). They've been playing two parts each week, and it's been an incredible experience to see them. They're certainly one of the greater cinematic acheivements I've seen. I hope I don't miss the last installment...I've been seeing them on Fridays, but this weekend I'll obviously be kinda busy. Hopefully I can catch them during the week. Kieslowski is such an incredible filmmaker...his movies are so beautifully put together...they're all so moral, ultimately, without ever being heavy handed. These films obviously were influential to Kubrick...there seems to be a lot of stylistic homages to them in 'Eyes Wide Shut.'

They also remind me of the effect I'm going for with 'Still' (although it will be nowhere near as brilliant). Quiet and unforced and powerful. Of course, I don't think 'Still' actually has any real message (if anyone is able to determine one from reading the script, I'd love to hear about it!) I also watched 'In The Company Of Men' again recently, and was reminded how much that movie inspired my original draft. Which isn't all that different from the draft we're using now, except that Tom and Mary's relationship was much more cold and clinical. And I originally wrote the part of Tom with Aaron Eckhart in mind.

Well, I'm gonna go write up a new movie review to post up along with this stuff before I go to bed. I'll be back soon, I'm sure. I have no trepidations yet...but if and when they come (and I certainly hope they don't but am sure they will), this page will once again return to its therapeutic roots.

Two songs that emobdy at least fifty percent of the screenplay I'm writing right now.

BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU by Radiohead

Been thinking about you, your records are here,
your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there.
But I'm still no-one, and you're now a star,
what do you care?

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest,
shit I still love you, still see you in bed.
But I'm playing with myself, and what do you care
when the other men are far, far better.

All the things you've got,
all the things you need,
who bought you cigarettes,
Who bribed the company to come and see you honey?

I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep?
These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet.
They don't know what I know and why should you care
when I'm not there.

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest,
should I still love you, still see you in bed.
But I'm playing with myself, what do you care,
when I'm not there.

All the things you've got,
she'll never need,
all the things you've got.
I've bled and I bleed to please you.

Been thinking about you.

KNOW by Nick Drake

Know that I love you
Know I don't care
Know that I see you
Know I'm not there.

My laptop is still in the shop...they told me two weeks, it's now going on six. It's starting to get annoying. So anyway, I finally downloaded the FTP program I needed onto another computer so I can get busy updating the site again.

I really can't believe how much work everyone is putting towards 'Still.' It blows my mind. Filmmaking is the one art form where you can get a big group of people working themselves to death over one creative vision...for free. It's incredible. I thought 'Lullaby' was a big undertaking when I started it. That was nothing. I sure as hell didn't have a sixteen page budget for that one.

We did have to recast one role, unfortunately, but it proved to be a painless undertaking. Our previous actress had a small scheduling conflict, and I just couldn't bear to push the schedule back any further. So within two days we had a replacement, and it all turned out wonderfully. So now we once again have a wonderful cast.

I'm supposed to be rewriting the script I wrote last spring, 'Untitled,' cause that's what I want to make next. Unfortunately, I can't until I get my laptop back (and there better not be any file damage on that thing...I know I'm supposed to make backup files, but still...). So I'm working on a new one. Unfortunately, I was really pounding out the pages the other night and suddenly they made me really depressed, so I had to stop for a while. I'm going to try to finish it before we start shooting 'Still,' though. So then I'll have three features ready to go! I think way too far ahead.

Well...I know I always said 'Lullaby' was going to be great, and it wasn't that great. But hopefully 'Still' will be. I've gained so much experience in the two years since we shot that (and interestingly, we start shooting 'Still' almost two years to the day we started 'Lullaby'). I'm really not worried at all. Not one bit.

All right, I'm going to go fall asleep listening to the brilliance of The Velvet Underground now...I wish sweet dreams upon you all...

December 3, 2001

Wow, December already. 23 days until I turn 21, which is good because 20 is a crappy age to be, but unfortunate because getting older always is annoying.

I was really struck over the weekend by George Harrison's death. The funniest joke in 'Shallow Hal' is kind of sad now. I've been listening to The Beatles nonstop. Their unequivocal genius never ceases to blow my mind. I hope that something I create can be as brilliant as any one of their songs. The script I'm rewriting right now, which is the feature I want to make next, I want to put Beatles songs on the soundtrack so bad...Eleanor Rigby would be so perfect for the story. But of course, I could probably make ten films with the amount I'd have to pay in rights for that song.

For kicks and giggles, here's my predicted list of the 10 best films of the year, in no order. 'Monsters INC.' 'Hedwig And The Angry Inch.' 'Amelie.' 'Moulin Rouge.' 'The Fellowship Of The Ring.' 'Vanilla Sky.' 'The Royal Tennenbaums.' 'Waking Life.' 'Ali.' Hmm. That's just nine. I guess the last on will be a surprise.

Oh yeah, and 'Still' is coming along swimmingly, even though it's been pushed back to the beginning of February. I've completed 70 pages of storyboards, my new co-producers Matt Kurtz and Jason Croft have prepared a 10 page budget that makes me want to cry, and are currently pounding out a shot-by-shot shooting schedule, and this should all really be in the News section, but oh well.

Well, in case I die tomorrow, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!

My friend Ben and I are finishing up the entire collection of 'Twin Peaks.' He's seen the whole series before, but I've only seen the movie. Let me tell you, if you haven't seen 'Fire Walk With Me,' don't bother until you've at least seen the first season of the show...which is phenomenally compelling.

Hey, guess what! 'Still' is pushed back again. This time for crew purposes, mainly. Is it ever actually going to happen? Is it some crazy dream or diabolical plan? Yes to the first question, absolutely not to the others. The idea, see, is to make the movie as good as possible...this includes waiting for the time to be right. As far as I'm concerned, though, the colder the weather is during the shoot, the better. So January will be just fine with me.

I've seen the first two 'Episode II' teasers now...the third one will be out on Friday. I can't wait for the darn movie. I really really hope I'm not going to get hyped up over nothing this time!

May the Force be with you.

November 5, 2001

My uncle died on Halloween, and his funeral was this morning. He was old and at the very edge of his life, but it was still sad. I remember back when I was 4 or 5, picking him up at the train station in Milwaukee, and he gave me a big red lollipop. I think it was round, but I also have some vague recollection of Mickey Mouse associated with the event, so maybe it was Mickey Mouse shaped. I don't remember for sure...it's all fragmented now. I hate that, the way memories fall apart. You can always find the pieces but it's hard to put them back together.

My progeny is beginning to give me labor pains...I really wish I had a producer. I love doing everything myself, but it kills me. I'm never exactly sure where I stand. But I'm really excited. Less than a month now, and all the pieces are in order (almost). In two weeks I'm holding the first cast/crew meeting, and I'm really excited about getting everyone together for the first time.

I entered some contest Nintendo is having for a new horror-themed game of theirs. You just have to pitch a treatment for a short film, and they pick ten winners who get 2 grand each to make their film, and then one of those gets the grand prize of twenty thousand dollars. The only real guidelines were that it had to be about insanity/horror/mystery. They specified that they wanted a 'Jacob's Ladder'/ 'Sixth Sense' feel to it. So I dashed off this treatment that's kind of a cross between 'Lost Highway' and 'Jacob's Ladder.' It's kinda cheesy, but it would be awesome if I won. Never hurts to try.

I'm going to sleep...just as soon as I finish downloading the trailer to this new Britney Spears movie!!!

I quit smoking last night -- hopefully. I've thought about quitting before, and I've gone without for a few days plenty of times, but this time I'm firm in my resolution to inhale no more lung candy, to purchase no more cancer sticks, etc. One day down...the rest of my life to go! I should be a motivational speaker.

This is the best week for movies we've had all year; 'Amelie,' 'The Man Who Wasn't There,' and 'Monsters, Inc.' open. And when you've seen all those, you can still go back and watch 'Waking Life' and 'Donnie Darko' again. Finally...after a year of drek, all the gold is rising to the surface.

I'm going to go to bed...I have many, many storyboards to draw while at work tomorrow, before I don my makeup and melodramatic outfits and lose myself to the darkness of All Hallow's Eve...(insert dark laughter echoing through the night here).

October 24, 2001

The rehearsals had to get pushed back a week, due to lack of a place to hold them. Kinda sucks, not having my own place anymore. Well, not really, but it'd be nice every now and then.

I've now raised enough money to cover all the film stock, which the bulk of the budget consists of. I shouldn't have any trouble getting the money for the equipment and food and stuff by the beginning of December, which is when I now plan on starting. This is taking too long; I hope the cast and crew sticks with it. Anyway, I'm trying to pull in 50 hours a week at my job, to make as much money as possible. Of course, I don't get paid enough, but oh well. Any job where I get paid to watch movies is okay by me.

Yay! Less than a week until the new Star Wars trailer. I'm such a dork!

October 11, 2001

One month now since that infamous day...hard to believe. A few people I know have started questioning their goals as filmmakers...I haven't. When bad things happen, people need movies and music and entertainment in general to temporarily take them to a better place. Look at the box office from the past two weekends...all the movies have been making quite a bit of money for this time of year. Sure, 'Don't Say A Word' isn't that great, but it's nice to know that people still want their Michael Douglas yuppie thrillers. It's kind of comforting.

My next movie, after 'Still,' will be a feature film. And it will be a happy movie. I'm rewriting the script right now. It's good, I think. I really like it.

So that commercial thing got postponed at the last minute. Which drives me up the wall. I did quite a bit of work preparing for it, and hadn't yet seen any of the revenue which I would receive, when suddenly the plug gets pulled. It may still happen, but not in time for 'Still,' which means I'm going to have to pull the financing out of some other hat, and quickly. I'm sick and tired of pushing this thing back. And I'm not going to revert to shooting on DV. It'll happen...somehow...things always work out.

Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, I've archived the past few months of updates on this page and started afresh. As usual, here is the link to that archive.